I don't know!

I'm still not sure what to think of T yet. She had been just about perfect towards me but I am having such a hard time getting through my own wall. I know that I should show her a little more emotion but it's just not what I have been used to in this past year with K.

It's pretty ironic though that for the past 390 days with K I had been begging for this type of attention and now that I have it from T, I don't know what to do with it. I have never had this problem before, I have always been the type to put my feelings out there first and make it known what I was expierencing in a relationship. Now, I have become a stone. I don't feel like I'm dead just very guarded.

I have to work my way out of this if I am to ever have another relationship.


I wrote T a letter lastnight. I told her that I do appreciate all the things that she does for me and I also told her that I know I have this massive prison wall up but I can't get out! I acknowledge it but there seems nothing can be done about it.

I don't know